As I was listening to Mrs. Rowley yesterday, I began to think about our previous discussion in class where some people claimed that the Christian morality and search for happiness isn't altruistic in nature because Christians are always working with the promise of reaching Heaven in mind. However, yesterday, when Mrs. Rowley said that "Happiness is a moral obligation", I realized that being happy for whatever reason you might want to be happy, is altruistic in and of itself. While you may be following the correct moral path in an attempt to reach Heaven, this act of simply being outwardly happy is not totally self-centered in that, by being happy, you are in turn helping others achieve happiness.
If you were to just simply analyze the Beatitudes, you would see that they outline a method in which you can promote God to others, as Mrs. Rowley said. In truly promoting God to others, you are altruistically pursuing the moral life. In imaging God, you aren't being a good person for the sake of reaching Heaven-- God doesn't act like that. You are being a good person for the sake of others, much like God or Jesus would do. You do this in the hopes that others may follow your example and may themselves enter into the Kingdom of God. As a result, you are blessed; you are happy. And the people around you who choose to act like you, are happy as well.
Therefore, I don't think one can say that Christians aren't altruistic on the whole because in the end, to be a true Christian, the point is to provide a service to others as you help them achieve heavenly life. Sure, this is hard, but as I've said before, Christianity was never meant to be easy-- not 2000 years ago, not today, and not in the future. People will make mistakes and they will be moral for reasons that aren't fully selfless, but ultimately, a true Christian is striving to achieve this altruistic form of love and happiness for others.
“Fake it till you make it.”
ReplyDeleteIs anyone else conflicted by this?
I think that this statement is misleading and not the best advice to follow. The man we watched on video was correct when he said that we have a moral obligation to be happy so we don’t affect other people with our negative feelings. Where I am confused is how can a person say we should fake being happy until we are happy so most people aren’t affected by our bad moods, but it’s okay to not fake it around the people we care about most. Personally I know that when it comes to the people closest to me I value their happiness more than someone I have never met before (yes I realize this is callous). If I had to be fake to save someone distress I would rather keep the people closest to me from being unhappy than others, but in general I don’t think anyone should be fake. Anyone can help someone else get through something or help them to be happier but that can’t happen without a level of honesty. If a person fakes their happiness all the time they can miss out on opportunities for help and might remain miserable longer by faking. That being said I can see the value in doing good/happy things for the sake of doing them even if the intention isn’t there. Because people get out something good if they do something good even if they didn’t go into it with the best attitude, clearly there is something to be said about the action alone. I don’t think that a person has to fake happiness to make other people happy though. I think that the good action can stand on its own and that the people who are impacted by the good action are going to not be harmed emotionally even if the people doing to action are not the happiest or doing the action with the proper intentions. Eventually yes, doing the right thing will make the person doing it happier and improve their mood but I don’t think the moral obligation to be happy means you have to fake it at first.
As you can tell from reading this I am really conflicted and confused by that statement… Can anyone help?
I don't think the man said that you can't be unhappy around your closest friends. I think he means that you shouldn't ONLY be unhappy around them. Like I was reading in our Choices book today, it is important to vent to your friends and have moments where you can just talk about your unhappiness; however, you also have to give them time to maybe express themselves. You also have to have a balanced amount of moments where you are just happy, even if you're faking it, for your friend's sake. I hope that makes sense, and while I'm not a fan of this 'fake it til you make it' motif, I can see how even around your closest friends there are moments when you have to somewhat fake it. Certainly not all the time though because, like you said, it's important to reach out for help in order to achieve true happiness.
DeleteJensen, I am right there with you on disliking the "fake it till ya make it" idea. I do not think that feeling sad, angry, tired, upset, or anything other than happy is something we should hide just so other people can "be happy"- I think other people can control their feelings and be happy even if the person they are interacting with is not happy at that moment in time. Holding up negative feelings inside just for the sake of other people's happiness is an issue many people have and it leads to emotional issues such as depression, low self-esteem, etc because it makes people feel as if how they feel themselves is less important than the feelings of those around them, and in consequence they think their happiness is not as important as those around them and then they can't be happy, and I doubt that them hiding their feelings is really making anyone else happy around them. I think people are allowed to feel whatever they are feeling, but I think what we should stress instead is how you react to these feelings. You can be upset, but stay calm and not lash out at others- I think the lashing out is what inflicts of other's happiness and we can easily control our actions and how we treat others. So I guess what I am trying to get at here in this rant is that we shouldn't fake happiness for the sake of other's happiness, we should actually try to be happy to help others be happy, and we should not act upon negative feelings onto others that could cause them negative feelings themselves because that is not fair of us to spread bad moods.
DeleteI think the "fake it til you make it" thing may work. Im not saying you have to bottle everything up inside and pretend lie everything is okay, but if you make an effort to be happy like putting a smile on your face or complimenting someone, then it goes a lot further to make yourself and everyone else happy. The alternative wouldnt be much better, so it doesnt seem like there's much to lose.
DeleteI don't know. I think people need to face their problems to fix them and this seems like the opposite to me. If something bad is going on in your life and you are just trying to forget about it and "be happy" then I don't think anything is really ever solved.
DeleteThank you Stephanie! I think you said perfectly what I was having issues saying. And for everyone else I understand the other perspective and have come to the conclusion that the "fake it till you make it" is probably the worst way to state what I think Ms. Rowley was trying to get across.
DeleteThis is a response to Andrea’s original post.
ReplyDeleteI can see your point but I think that from the view of most Christians the ultimate goal is to be reunited with God in Heaven. People strive to be good enough to go to heaven and so what they do, at least at first, is driven by their desire to get to heaven. It’s nice to think that Christians in general are altruistic, but I think that is more wishful thinking than anything else. Mrs. Rowley even mentioned that something like 85% of people, when asked why they go to church, admit they go because they don’t want to go to Hell. That is not altruistic, it’s selfish and an answer given because they are afraid for themselves not worried about others in their life. I think that Christianity is altruistic in nature and certainly tries to teach people to be altruistic, but Christians, at least the majority, havn’t gotten there yet.
I agree completely Jensen-- most Christians haven't and probably won't achieve this completely altruistic state of mind. However, that is certainly the nature of Christianity, and the fact that more people focus on how to get to Heaven rather than how they can be altruistic and loving towards their neighbors, points to a flaw in how people look at the faith. But, people can certainly learn to be altruistic in this transformation from 'obedience to assent'.
DeleteThis is interesting because it’s a fight between the ideal and reality. Obviously the point of being Christian said by Ms. Rowley is to be a model of God for others. While this act is altruistic in nature, you do it because of selfish reasons. An example would be community service at Marist; while we do good serving the community we do it for the selfish reason of completing our service hours. At the moment Christianity seems to be a mixture of both these attitudes with selfishness slightly winning. It is true most people go to Church because they are afraid of punishment but I would say that it is a double edged sword being that they also in a deeper conscience want to go. I would say that the actions of Christians on the surface can appear to be selfish or self-serving but if you dig deeper you will find a great cause and altruistic manner behind the action. This is not for all Christians and all their actions but a percentage.
DeleteI agree with almost all of the things said here. Recapping-
Delete1) Christianity at its core is altruistic.
2) Most Christians either don't realize this or are just not there in their faith. Their goal is to reach heaven, not to be a model for others to reach heaven.
While the Church teaches us to help others, I think the Church could do a much better job of teaching the things Mrs. Rowley talked to us about. I personally think the Church is much too focused on its own rules and regulations. In an environment where it is a mortal sin (straight ticket to Hell if you don't repent to a priest) to miss mass on Sunday, it is not hard for me to see why people go to mass for the wrong reasons.
We have a moral obligation to be happy, but the obligation is not to ourselves but others. You need to be happy for others or at least pretend to be. While I agree that as a human race, we are connected in more ways than one and we do have some influence on others happiness, I hate the idea of plastering on a fake face for the world. Our changing emotions and sometimes radical responses are what make us human. And while it’s okay to let your close friends or family know your struggles the rest of the world may not. In a way I think that is selfish, the idea of holding out your knowledge or information because you need to put on a fake face of happiness. Artists for years have mirrored their general emotions and happiness or lack of in their works for centuries. If they were to put on a fake face for the general comfort of the world those works would not be in existence. I think there is a lot of good that comes with portraying your true feelings and real happiness.
ReplyDelete"No matter how unhappy you feel, you can still act happy"
ReplyDeleteIs happiness a feeling or a mindset? Or is it both? The fact that Mrs. Rowley used"fake it til you make it" to explain the altruistic approach to happiness that we are all obligated to have was confusing and a bit annoying. But it makes sense: it is the sacrifice that satisfies. I believe that the satisfaction of changing our attitude is the reward and consequentially, the means to happiness. I am not suggesting that swallowing all our problems and plastering a smile is the fix, nor and i saying that all the problems will disappear if ignored; however i do stand by the idea of satisfaction in adding to good rather than taking away leads to happiness. If we act on unhappiness then there would be no happiness because an unhappy presence leaves little room for happiness. One "bad seed" can spoil a harvest. Smiling your way through a situation in order to save someone else from unhappiness is a sacrifice and it could also be (dare i utter a non-christian term?!) karma.
Caroline, I feel that happiness like other emotions can be a mindset. When I have homework that I really do not want to do, I just act as unmotivated as possible, and I immediately feel like doing it. It is a trick my dad taught me. Mrs. Rowley brought up another one, where when you smile even when it is a fake smile, your mind still releases endorphins and serotonins. I am not saying that faking smiling will fix all of your problems but it cant hurt.
DeleteI think that it is both. As discussed earlier by Jensen and Stefanie, I think that in a way your hiding you true feelings by faking it, which to me is unhealthy because it usually ends in an explosion of bottled up feelings, or simply doesn't end in happiness! I believe that it is okay to fake it, in the sense of not lashing out on those around you and waiting to express your emotions with your friend, family, counselor, or whoever you feel most comfortable with to express the feelings preventing your happiness makes sense. But I don't think happiness is something, in many cases, that can be convinced. Yes I agree that a smile versus a frown goes further, but when I think of this quote, I think of people who get a bad grade so they give someone the bird on their ride home for going to slow or have an attitude with their sibling for asking them a question. I think those things that we can fake our happiness about by swallowing our harsh feelings for that moment and wait till they can express them in a healthier manor. But on another note I strongly believe that the way you look at something can change your happiness but I think that has a lot to do with understanding the situation causing you unhappiness and how you can make a positive change. So even though this is long and confusing, I think happiness is both a feeling and mindset, but on different levels.
DeleteDuring class Mrs. Rowley mentioned that "happiness is much as we make it to be" This quote stuck out to me because it made me wonder about the different levels of happiness. And that the idea of "faking it to, make it" is settling for an untrue or real level of happiness. If we fake it to make it I think that we are just settling by simply keeping our hardships to ourselves and instead of imposing them on the people around us. We are sparing them from our issues, but are we really helping our own pursuit of happiness?
ReplyDeleteI think that the two quotes I have contradict each other because if you fake it your not making a change in your life, but I believe to be happy you need to make a change! To make your own happiness, involves a change in perception while pretending things are different doesn't help that change. I do believe that faking it in the sense of not lashing out or ruining other people's day, because something or someone else ruined yours could help OTHERS reach happiness but I don't believe it helps us in our own journey!
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ReplyDelete"Our actions should not be influenced by our feelings"
If you start by trying to control your feelings, would it eventually lead to the not getting those feelings?
I saw a connection between the quote by Mrs. Rowley and the Buddhist Monk. You have to choose not to act on your feelings/ impulses, before it becomes an automatic thing, and when you choose to be happy even when you are not happy still benefits everyone around you. The Liberty Mutual commercial comes to mind, a good deed can lead to another.
I agree with this. It is similar to practicing one particular thing over and over again until it becomes second nature, like dribbling a basketball. I do not believe we should entirely fake an attitude, but rather practice being happy more often. If we can teach ourselves to be happy more and more, we will become a happier person all together, and others will be positively affected by this.
ReplyDeleteMrs. Rowley talked about how the Beatitudes are almost a Christian guide to happiness. Are the Beatitudes really a good starting point when trying to discover how to live happily?
ReplyDeleteI believe the Beatitudes are a very siplified version of Jesus' message to us. Most of them involve living simply in one way or another, such as being poor in spirit, humble, compassionate, etc. As a Christian, the Beatitudes can almost be a definition of happiness when put together. If one lives according to these simple guidelines, he or she will prosper in the Kingdom of Heaven and be happy.
I really like the idea of happiness being a moral obligation because when you're held accountable for something you're more likely to do it. If your actions affect another, you're more likely to think about what you're doing and make a conscious effort to not hurt the other person. So if happiness is a moral obligation, we are more likely to work on being happy for the good of not only ourselves but those around us.
ReplyDeleteMrs. Rowley's talk of the beatitudes were interesting because I guess I never truly understood them, or the fact that they were intended as a way for achieving happiness. The people who embrace the virtues of the beatitudes are happy, and I like the idea of those who are humble, sympathetic, without grudges, etc. are happy.
I agree fully with the "fake it til you make it method" because I see it work everyday. When I first came to Marist back in ninth grade I dreaded every moment of it. I hated waking up early and have to drive so far to go to a school that was extremely rigorous and completely out of my comfort zone. After a year of hating it my parents were disappointed in my displeasure in the school and couldnt understand why I responded so negatively to something that could have such a positive influence on me. I didnt start liking Marist until I prepared my mind to accept Marist. This preparation was filled with a great deal of faking it. I can remember joking with my parents in the morning on the way to school sarcastically stating how excited I was to fail test and struggle to make friends. Ironically, I began to actually enjoy and prosper at this school and I think that I wouldnt have been able to adapt without using the "fake it til you make it method".
ReplyDeleteIm glad that Alexandra mentioned how lack of full knowledge of the Beatitudes becaue I too didnt fully understand them. I enjoyed having Mrs Rowley break them down to a level that I could really comprehend.
"The Jews were grateful for the 10 commandments because they gave them a path to follow".
ReplyDeleteWhile I disagreed with a few of the things Mrs. Rowley said, I really liked this quote. It was enlightening to me. In the more liberal society we live in today, its easy to take things out of context. I previously perceived the 10 commandments, and by extension the rules of the Church as purposely restrictive so that the Church could be more controlling in our lives. However, this is not how they were originally intended. They were intended to give people a path to God. Obviously I never thought it was ok to lie, steal, or kill, but to me this is just a much better way of looking at the 10 commandments.
I know a lot of people have already talked about "fake it til you make it" but I still don't really like that. I know it's better to strive to be happy instead just being miserable but I really don't know if this could make you happy. I don't think any of your major problems could get faced this way because some of them need time and can not be fixed by pretending to be happy until you are. I also don't think this feels genuine. Some people aren't the happiest by nature but that doesn't mean they are going to bring everyone down or they aren't good people. Maybe the faking thing does help you feel better at first but can it really change your whole personality?
ReplyDeleteI feel like we really need to quit thinking about this in terms of "fake it." I HATE fakeness more than anyone. At the same time, I feel like there is a time and place for everything. Be legitimate with your friends, the people who will be more likely to understand, and have the time to maybe help you through your problems. Don't ruin the moods of the people you see for 30 seconds in a day around you though. They won't have a chance to help you...it is cruel to inflict your misery on them, when they can't do anything. You don't have to act happy (walking around with a @#$% eating grin on your face), just act civil. It makes you angry when someone shoots you the bird while driving when you haven't done anything, or yells at you for no reason...so imagine if EVERYONE acted that way to all the people they saw on a daily basis. The world would be considerably less "happy." Maybe acting "happy" won't guarantee your happiness, but if you decide you are special enough to get to inflict your emotions on all those around you, and others have that same mindset, I CAN guarantee you, the world will be significantly less happy.
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